Ironically Aloof, the badass with a heart that every girl below the age of 30 wants to date (except for me)

As I came to the realization that the man that most women want to date is 'Ironically Aloof,' it was also brought to my attention that this term may be a little obscure. Women want to date his Ironically Aloof man because he is everything that women irrationally want. Think Johnny Depp, you want him to be rude and aloof to you in public but then at home, you want him to put on his adult footie pajamas and cuddle you while watching 'The Notebook'.
"You're so much prettier than Rachel McAdams," he'll say,just as he puts his leather 'James Dean' jacket back on and leaves to go meet his friends at a dirty bar where he will get into a fist fight with the waitress's boyfriend for looking at her the wrong way. You see, to most women this black eye will turn into a mysterious and sexy fashion accessory. In not telling this woman where the black eye came from, it turns into something to nurture, a faceless thing that she can fix while simultaneously capturing undivided attention. Women want his Ironically Aloof man, they want his lies and they want his hot-and-cold attitude towards affection.
Ladies, read this and think, you do not want his man. The Irony is not an endearing quality. If a one night stand is what you seek then be my guest. If you are like me, a creature of constant monogamy, please beware.

So, You Come Here Often?

As you know, there are many things in the world that I have a problem with. Bad pick up lines are not included in this list. Those are golden and should never be touched. The man with the willingness to use them, totally not date-able but also very entertaining.
I would now like to discuss the TV commercial with the guy in the cell phone suit following around his girlfriend. Now the point of this commercial is to send young girls the message that it is not OK to deal with overbearing boyfriends. This commercial is the "More you Know" people's way of giving us all the finger. They decided -our commercials suck, they make everyone uncomfortable- lets get together and make a funny. And that they did. The very last few seconds, he is standing behind her in the bathroom and says, "naked pics...send em."This is HILARIOUS. There is a douche in a foam phone insisting naked pictures. This commercial could only be better if the cellphone appeared on a stage and preformed a rendition of 'only the good die young' for his apparently chaste girlfriend. It would also be amazing if at the end the girlfriend left him for the kid in the whopper jr. suit in the Burger King commercials.