So...

So tonight on 'The Office' Jim and Pam had some issues. Issues that are not even real problems that only stem from being long distance. I hate being long distance.
Today was a pretty rough day, kinda lonely, had to go places that are a lot easier when someone you love is there.


"It will suck, but it will be great."
-Jim Halpert

Cheesecake

So, all of you who know me know that I am in no way, shape or form, domestic. However, recent attempts (salmon dinner) have proven successful. Therefore, I have decided to try something a little more complicated, Cheesecake. The favorite of one JBS and about half of America.
The mixing and stirring and such is over with and now comes the hard part, for me anyway, the waiting. Apparently this thing was to bake for an hour and then set for several hours before it is ready to eat a.k.a i have to wait HOURS to see if yet another attempt at domesticity is successful.
Updates will come at the various cheesecake intervals.
They will either be delicious or hilarious....personally I expect hilarious.

The story of my life

more animals

Home

Back in the big apple for a brief moment.
never long enough.
Interesting greyhound ride...always one odd person on the bus, this time I was lucky enough to sit next to him and be extremely uncomfortable for four hours as he proceeded to apparently soothe his profound anxiety by touching himself, constantly.

P.Diddy had publicly announced him fear of one Sarah Palin. I thought this was hilarious. Go Piddy...not a typo, thats just what I like to call him. It rolls off the tongue.

Not much else to talk about. Except that I'm really happy im here. Boston will be difficult but, I think it will get much much better in a few months. The weekend has been full of pleasant surprizes all around.

Phyllis Says

As you all know, I love NBC's 'The Office'
but, if there is something I would change about the show I would ask for MORE PHYLLIS.
This is for you Mrs. Vance...a weekly Phyllis quote to remind you all of her hilarity.

Jim Halpert: Ok, so I think that's H-O-R for Stanley, and H-O for Phyllis.
Phyllis: Are you calling me a ho?
Jim Halpert: Oh my God. Phyllis coming alive, I like it.

OH MY GOD

Ever watch 'Dirty Sexy Money'?

Its awful BUT, two actors on the show who happen to play HUSBAND AND WIFE have the same haircut...like actually the same haircut.

Did no one in styling catch this?

The director didn't say
" hey guys, lets cut because it looks like you are kissing a mirror image of yourself"
...its like watching a much creepier version of 'The Parent Trap.'( the original, not the Lindsay Lohan version....never the Lindsay Lohan version.)

If I drink 'smart water' will it make me smart?

First of all I give an apology to those who were promised daily updates...that didn't go well.

So, tennis lessons have been ruined for me taking with them my unbridled dreams of WASPy perfection...Why don't men understand that when you don't respond to ANYTHING they say, it means I DON'T LIKE YOU. IN FACT, YOU MAKE ME ALMOST THROW UP IN MY MOUTH. I even resorted to the eye roll (classic sign of disgust)..eye roll damn it!!! Since when does that not work??? When??

Having the relationship that I do makes me really happy....I got a normal one, be jealous. We like that...its a little twisted(not in a sexual way).

A brief side note: Dolly Parton is amazing...Those tata's don't quit and she's feisty too. Props to Dolly.


OK back to business:
I've been having spacial issues on the T. My beloved Michael Kors purse, that I lovingly refer to as Michael, seems to have a super power. You see, when he is riding the T Michael likes to grow to about three times his actual size and then proceed to bitch slap everyone within a ten foot radius. Can anyone help me find a solution other than "buy and new bag?" because I am just not willing to do this.
Is there some sort of 'Alice in Wonderland' pill that can help Michael to grow and shrink at moments convenient to my public transportation needs?
Can anyone buy me a car in which Michael could have his own seat?....preferably a mini-cooper?




yes, I am aware that the title of this post is not relevant at all.

quick question

I just read that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel broke up.....

Is Matt Damon to blame?...

food for thought.

All Things Funny Part 1 (3rd post, i know...sue me)

Thank the lord for YouTube:

This cop dancing..is quite possibly the funniest moment in any move ever. Also, the irony of the song makes me really happy.

A Very Personal Fuck You to Michael Cera

I know two blogs (should that have two g's?) in one day is a bit much. But I'm excited...so give me the benefit of the doubt.

"you're not the boss of benefit of the doubt"- J

I can feel that one coming. Anyway..enjoy:


Dear Mr. Cera,

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU. Seriously, you play George Michael Bluth in EVERYTHING...every-thing. Yet, you refuse the 'Arrested Development' movie. You are an ass. I wanted to see your new movie with the slightly fish-looking girl from 'The 40 year-old Virgin," but now I refuse.

My boyfriend and I may dress up as you and the probably lesbian chick whose name I don't remember in Juno...but that is only because he looks adorable in 'American Apparel' and I think it is probably the only time in my life I will look remotely pregnant (esp. due to recent odd physical therapy needs ) and I think I would be an adorable little pregnant girl.

Nevertheless....fuck you. 'Arrested Development' was the best show on TV and was not treated fairly and you are not helping....

-Sarah Elizabeth

Don't lie to the Homies.

Sitting at home, watching 'The Hills," the god awful scripted reality show that I watch mainly while doing other things (computer, reading, contemplating life). It basically background noise, and sometimes a metaphor for my actual life. MC knows what I mean.

If you don't know who MC is you just are not cool enough to know and all you need to know is that she is smarter than you.

One thing about ' The Hills ': the awkward silences filled with nodding....pretty amazing. I like to imagine they are thinking ' yea...yea...I forget what I'm supposed to be talking about...Spencer and Heidi?"

For the first time in my life I know of an actual person with the name Heidi....I was amused.