Ironically Aloof, the badass with a heart that every girl below the age of 30 wants to date (except for me)

As I came to the realization that the man that most women want to date is 'Ironically Aloof,' it was also brought to my attention that this term may be a little obscure. Women want to date his Ironically Aloof man because he is everything that women irrationally want. Think Johnny Depp, you want him to be rude and aloof to you in public but then at home, you want him to put on his adult footie pajamas and cuddle you while watching 'The Notebook'.
"You're so much prettier than Rachel McAdams," he'll say,just as he puts his leather 'James Dean' jacket back on and leaves to go meet his friends at a dirty bar where he will get into a fist fight with the waitress's boyfriend for looking at her the wrong way. You see, to most women this black eye will turn into a mysterious and sexy fashion accessory. In not telling this woman where the black eye came from, it turns into something to nurture, a faceless thing that she can fix while simultaneously capturing undivided attention. Women want his Ironically Aloof man, they want his lies and they want his hot-and-cold attitude towards affection.
Ladies, read this and think, you do not want his man. The Irony is not an endearing quality. If a one night stand is what you seek then be my guest. If you are like me, a creature of constant monogamy, please beware.