Just because your name is Bear, does not mean that you are one. Therefore, please do not attempt to fool mother nature into thinking that you are, in fact, an actual bear. Did no one learn form the Croc Hunter incident? Maybe these reality shows messing with nature are not a good idea? Just a little?
Well apparently not. You know, kudos to Bear for being that guy who will bite the head of a larva while stranded in the middle of Timbuktu for all the world to see, but lets think about how wise of a career choice this is?
I should explain, that what sparked this little tirade was a headline reading "Bear Grylls airlifted back to England for emergency surgery after being attacked by a vicious shard of bamboo. Mind you, bamboo cuts can be pretty nasty" (thanks Fark)
The man went and got attacked by a PLANT. Granted it is a dangerous plant, but nevertheless a PLANT. Bear Grylls was finally sent to the hospital by something that preforms PHOTOSYNTHESIS. How ridiculous. First the Croc Hunter gets killed by, well NOT A CROC and now Bear Grylls is hospitalized by a plant.
Couldn't this possibly be the universe trying to tell us something? Like hey, civilization happened for a reason, lets stick to it...that seems safe and functional. Personally, I enjoy sleeping in a well made bad rather than a hollowed out carcass. But that's just me.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
No matter what a stripper tells you, men and women can never really be "just friends."
Seriously people, this is something that I have to clear up once and for all. A man and a woman cannot be "just friends." There will always be at least one person in that relationship will have at least dirty, if not romantic thoughts about the other person.
I have created a list proving this impossibility. This list contains a set of questions. If you can answer these 10 questions all with an honest "no," then you are probably lying. Just be honest with yourself, it does not mean that your relationship with your "friend" has to change, many people continue this charade for a life time. Just know that it is how it is.
And so the questions begin:
1) Have you ever had a sexual thought of any kind about this person?
2) Has this person ever had any sexual thoughts about you?
3) Have you ever been inexplicably jealous of this person's love interest?
4) Have you ever thought " My 'friend' would never do this to a girl/guy" in reference to your current relationship?
5) Have you ever thought "I would never do that to a girl/guy" in reference to your "friend's" relationship.
6) Have you ever wanted your friend to find you attractive?
7) Has your friend ever seemed jealous of your current relationship?
8)Is your relationship with your "friend" very physical? (ie cuddling, play fighting)
9)do you think of your "friend" throughout the day? (he/she would love this, think its funny)
10)(drum roll) When you first met, did you think of this person as a member of the opposite sex? (aka. he is kinda cute, how is my makeup?)
There you have it folks. No one is going to judge you. Just don't lie to yourself. Human beings are sexual creatures, its ok. Just don't act on it in the wrong way. And please, don't listen to strippers.
I have created a list proving this impossibility. This list contains a set of questions. If you can answer these 10 questions all with an honest "no," then you are probably lying. Just be honest with yourself, it does not mean that your relationship with your "friend" has to change, many people continue this charade for a life time. Just know that it is how it is.
And so the questions begin:
1) Have you ever had a sexual thought of any kind about this person?
2) Has this person ever had any sexual thoughts about you?
3) Have you ever been inexplicably jealous of this person's love interest?
4) Have you ever thought " My 'friend' would never do this to a girl/guy" in reference to your current relationship?
5) Have you ever thought "I would never do that to a girl/guy" in reference to your "friend's" relationship.
6) Have you ever wanted your friend to find you attractive?
7) Has your friend ever seemed jealous of your current relationship?
8)Is your relationship with your "friend" very physical? (ie cuddling, play fighting)
9)do you think of your "friend" throughout the day? (he/she would love this, think its funny)
10)(drum roll) When you first met, did you think of this person as a member of the opposite sex? (aka. he is kinda cute, how is my makeup?)
There you have it folks. No one is going to judge you. Just don't lie to yourself. Human beings are sexual creatures, its ok. Just don't act on it in the wrong way. And please, don't listen to strippers.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Please get back to me about this...
Why is it that, when people get to college, they decide to be "into" photography and start photoshopping the living hell out of every picture they were ever in?
If I know you from somewhere, I know what you really look like...just saying.
If I know you from somewhere, I know what you really look like...just saying.
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